Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Donald Takes A Holiday

   The school year is over and that means kids everywhere just finished writing their essays about how they’re going to spend their summer vacation. Here’s one from a Washington, D. C. student:

How I’m Going to Spend My Summer Vacation – by Donald J. Trump
     I live in a big white house in Washington, D. C. Sometimes I work there, too. Except in the summer. In the summer, I like to play golf. Lots of golf. Even more golf than I play during the winter.
     And I like to visit my resorts and golf courses. It’s fun to play golf and entertain people at my resorts. Especially when the government pays all the bills. Some folks say that’s not fair but I think they’re just sore losers.
     The best thing about summer vacation is that I don’t have to read. Not like I read a lot while I’m home but in the summer I hardly have to read at all. I just tell people to give me one-page summaries and, even then, I don’t really have to read them since I’m very, very smart and know practically everything about everything.
     My friends Steve and Reince and Jared think I should read more but I don’t want to. For example, they think that it’s a good idea if I read speeches from Teleprompters. I can do that but it’s not very much fun. That’s why I like to just speak whatever’s on my mind.
     Unfortunately, it looks like I’ll have to spend at least a few days in Washington because some folks on the Senate Intelligence Committee want me to come and share my extensive knowledge with them. Clearly they’re not that intelligent.
     My friends Sean and Kellyanne are telling me that I should study up before I appear before the Senate committee but I don’t think that will be necessary. I know way more than they do and I’m happy to help them out. And if it turns out it does involve a lot of work, I’ll just do what my friend Mike Flynn does and take the Fifth.
     Some of my friends say I shouldn’t use Twitter during the summer but I think they’re just jealous because they can’t tweet as well as I can. I am a fantastic tweeter and I write the best and smartest tweets of anyone.
     I really, really like summer vacation because then I don’t have to work very hard at all. Not that I have to work hard when I’m home in Washington. I wouldn’t mind working more but my pal Mike Pence usually does all the work for me.
     I tease Mike. I say “See Mike. See Mike work. See Mike operate as de facto President.”
     Mike doesn’t like to take vacations. Some people say that’s not healthy. Most people are thankful and say that’s a very good thing.
     I like summer vacations. I wish they would last longer. I would like to stay at my resorts all summer long.
     Some folks say that would be wrong. Others say it would be a good thing. I’m not sure why they say that.       

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