Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Hollywood Rules

Famed TV actor Fred Thompson is reportedly on the verge of declaring his candidacy for President. The ‘Law and Order’ star who plays district attorney Arthur Branch is hoping to follow in the footsteps of that other Hollywood actor turned politician - Ronald Reagan.

Apparently Thompson is not the only thespian looking to take up residence in The White House. Rumor has it that the following stars are also considering a 2008 run:

Martin Sheen
The noted left-wing star is seriously considering entering the race. When asked to comment on his lack of experience, Sheen conceded that Thompson was a two-term senator from Tennessee but noted that his record outshone most. "I served in Vietnam or at least the Hollywood version as shown in ‘Apocalypse Now’," said the noted actor. "And I believe that I have more on-screen presidential experience than any other actor today including Harrison Ford and Michael Douglas." As the self-proclaimed "best President America never had", the former star of ‘The West Wing’ hopes to repeat the surprise New Hampshire primary victory of his counterpart Jeb Bartlett.

Warren Beatty
Long mentioned as a possible presidential candidate, Warren Beatty’s name is again surfacing as a potential Democratic nominee. "My video experience is more broad ranging than any other candidate, Hollywood-based or otherwise," said the aging heartthrob. "Not only have I played a U. S. senator in ‘Bulworth’, I also gained valuable criminal experience in ‘Bugsy’ and ‘Bonnie and Clyde’ and useful insights into communist governance in ‘Reds.’ When asked to handicap his chances for the 2008 race, Beatty quipped: "I can guarantee you that they’re better than ‘Ishtar’."

Clint Eastwood
Politics is nothing new for Clint Eastwood. The famed Hollywood actor and director previously served as the mayor of Carmel, California. "If you can handle the politics of wealthy, small town California," said the iconic star. "The White House should be a breeze." The longtime Republican says that he’d like to bring a more libertarian approach to Hollywood. When asked how he’d handle his eventual Democratic opponent, Eastwood simply said: "Make my day."

Arnold Schwarzenegger
Hollywood megastar Arnold Schwarzenegger has long been touted as a presidential candidate. The star of such action-adventure movies as ‘The Terminator’, ‘Predator’ and ‘Conan the Barbarian’ has already made his mark as Governor of California. "I can’t deny that I want that job," said Schwarzenegger. "I believe I have the strength and acting ability to carry it off." Unfortunately, the former body builder is not qualified due to his Austrian birth. But if the Constitution can be amended to allow foreign born Americans to run in future races, Schwarzenegger says: "I’ll be back."

Donald Trump
Never one to shy away from the limelight, Donald Trump is rumored to be looking for one more property acquisition: The White House. "Let’s face it," said the star of ‘The Intern’. "As President, I’d be huge." Asked to comment on his lack of political experience, the real estate mogul dismissed the criticism by saying: "Look, if I can take on a giant loser like Rosie O’Donnell, those clowns in Congress would be a piece of cake."

Homer Simpson
Longtime animated star Homer Simpson reportedly has his eye on the Republican nomination. Assuming he can get out of his current series contract, the eponymous star of ‘The Simpsons’ wants to throw his metaphorical hat into the presidential ring. "Just look at my record," said Simpson. "I’ve been and done just about everything." Asked if his penchant for screw-ups and mistakes would hamper his candidacy, the aging cartoon star replied: "I don’t see why since that didn’t stop the current guy from serving two terms."

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