Monday, April 30, 2007

Modernizing the U. S. Citizenship Test

The U. S. Citizenship and Immigration Services recently announced that it is overhauling its standard list of questions used for the test given to immigrants seeking to become citizens. Rumor has it that the new exam will adopt the popular multiple-choice format and will be constructed by randomly choosing questions from the following updated list:

How many votes does it take to be elected President?
___ a majority of the votes of the Electoral College
___ less than you might think
___ those of at least five friendly Supreme Court justices

Who is the Commander-in-chief?
___ George W. Bush
___ Dick Cheney
___ Bill Gates

What do the stars and stripes on the flag represent?
___ the number of original colonies and current states
___ the latest sugar-coated cereal from General Mills: "Stars ‘n Stripes"
___ the thirteen major American interstate highways and the fifty top grossing Hollywood stars

On what date do we celebrate the Fourth of July?
___ the fourth day of July
___ the first Friday of July
___ Tuesday

Why do we celebrate the Fourth of July?
___ declaring our independence from England
___ to support our domestic fireworks industry
___ to support our domestic fireworks importers

What is Congress?
___ the legislative branch of the federal government
___ an elaborate make-work project mandated by the Constitution
___ a sexual expression of love

Who becomes President if the President and Vice President die?
___ the Speaker of the House of Representatives
___ Nancy Pelosi
___ no, seriously, Nancy Pelosi

How many terms can a President serve?
___ two
___ two unless you’re Franklin D. Roosevelt
___ two unless your wife gets elected, you’re the Vice President and your wife dies mysteriously, say, in a freak White House bowling alley accident

According to the Constitution, a person must meet certain requirements in order to be eligible to be President. Name one of those requirements:
___ be at least 35 years old
___ raise at least $100 million in cash
___ ask Arnold Schwarzenegger

What are the first ten amendments to the Constitution called?
___ the Bill of Rights
___ the Ten Commandments
___ a Bill of Goods

Name the right guaranteed by the Second Amendment
___ the right to bear arms
___ the right to bare arms
___ the right to arm bears

Name one benefit of being a U. S. citizen:
___ you can work for the post office
___ you can own a firearm
___ you can carry your firearm to your job at the post office

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